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Unsolicited Advice LADY at the gym (#2 does refer to a guy, but only because it's more common).

I don't care if you think you know something about working out. I'm sure you played college basketball or something and those 15 wind sprints you got as punishment that one time for talking during the video playback of last night's loss made you think you were super tough, but I know a thing or two myself. And I know that I was using proper form - because I always do. Dipshit.

So, while I know I was on the one machine you use at the gym, don't think that you are somehow going to scare me off it by telling me I'm "doing it wrong" and that, "everyone always does it wrong." You ever think that you're the dumb ass who is doing it wrong? Hmm, I know you read one article in SHAPE Magazine 10 years ago, and still hold it to be the workout gospel, but come on...

If anything, I should have been giving you advice. Your cankles were sloppily smushed into your one size too small 'workout' pants, your baggy shirt was hiding your spare tire, and that microfiber, fast wicking hat wasn't doing much since you weren't breaking a fucking sweat. I mean, if you looked like this I might be more apt to listen to your advice. But when you're shaped like Jennifer Hudson (even after the weight loss), I really don't care what you have to say.

Just a friendly PSA. I'm by no means an "I Know Everything Fitness Guru," but this is an area I consider to be one of my strongest knowledge bases. I guess I'm just annoyed that she thought it was pertinent enough to interrupt my workout. I get mad when people interrupt my workout to ASK me something. You can only imagine the look of disgust, and the ridiculous eye roll she received when she dared to interrupt my workout to try and TELL me something.

With the stamina I've built up doing my weekend workouts, next time I'm not getting off the machine until I see her leave. I'm thinking 6 hours should cover it.