Oh yeah, we're also DRIVING down there from SF. Should be a road trip to remember. Hopefully I find the hottie in the Ferrari on the highway to make the nine hour drive go by a little quicker. This train's leaving at 5:00am, so I's gotsta get my sleep on.
Vegas suit. Much better.
I've done my homework this past month or so and caught all the important Vegas movies: Swingers (as evidenced by the quote in the title); Casino; 21; Ocean's 11-13; etc. Even Con-Air. Most importantly, I caught National Lampoon's: Vegas Vacation. Now I just need to find a hot streak like Papageorgio, win us four different vehicles, and we're set.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Oh yeah, we're also DRIVING down there from SF. Should be a road trip to remember. Hopefully I find the hottie in the Ferrari on the highway to make the nine hour drive go by a little quicker. This train's leaving at 5:00am, so I's gotsta get my sleep on.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
"Scars will tell the story of who a man truly is. Tattoos will tell the story of who that man wishes he was."
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Now, I've been a member of 24 Hour 'Shitness' for a good 12-13 years, back when it was still "Nautilus". And I thought I had seen it all. People smoking cigarettes outside and then walking in and getting their "workout on" - which more often than not, consisted of bullshitting with three or four other degenerates for 2 hours while you are trying to use the equipment they are sitting on. The 'plump' girl in the full Ed Hardy 'fit that spends 20 minutes "doing" crunches (read: laying on her back talking/texting on her phone. The girl drinking a Coke while "running" (read: slothing along) on the treadmill. But this...THIS takes the cake.
The top hat alone is enough to write a damn thesis on, but unfortunately I wasn't able to get a picture of his epic facial hair and full on musket shooting 'stache. I at first I was wondering if Bill and Ted had swooped this dude up in a phone booth and he was just trying out equipment he had never seen before. But then I noticed something a little 'off', even for the rest of his outfit.
See, what you don't see in the above picture, but I was lucky enough to catch in the next one, are the full on Shredder from the Ninja Turtles "wrist bands" he was wearing.
It's still a little blurry, but they are exactly as you remember from those Saturday morning cartoons.
Yup. Captain Top Hat's though, were leather with those awesome studs protruding. No doubt to keep people from interrupting his "intense" 10 minute workout.
This is all before we boil it down to those socks!!! I mean, he better be careful he doesn't go near any tornadoes, or he might find himself in a rather unfortunate situation.
I guess there truly is no place like home. I'm just lucky enough to call San Francisco my home, with all of it's 'unique' individuals out there to entertain me on a daily basis.
Check it out - pretty crazy stuff. Skip past the the first entry since it was more concerned with some movie or commercial being filmed (blah, blah, blah), as opposed to everybody's one true love - crackheads doing what they do best: pissin', shittin' and smokin' rock in plain view. Crackhead(s) #3.5 take things to a whole 'nother level. (Note: NSFW).
Crackhead #6, Video #2 is a personal fave, merely for the commentary. But feel free to check them out for yourself. Even Tyrone Biggums would be shocked to see some of this stuff.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Anyway, with an anticipated 5:30am start, the race staff was right on top of their stuff and sent off the first wave of runners right on time. Being that I had changed from the full registration to the half, I pretty much chose my own start time and selected the second wave. For anyone out there that has ever run any decent distance races, you know why. When you get stuck in the 3rd and 4th waves at events like this, you spend a great deal of energy weaving in and out of slower runners trying to get to your comfortable stride and pace, which in turn leaves you out of your element and unable to run as you had been training. 'Luckily' for me, I was able to run an interesting race regardless of my wave start...
See, during morning training runs, I would always run with a few things, regardless of distance. 1) Garmin GPS training watch, which gives pace per mile, distance traveled, calories burned, and a couple of other things. 2) Gloves, which (duh) in SF summers are rather crucial for keeping your hands from turning blue and maintaining a 'pins-and-needles' free environment. And, 3) a Hydration Belt (read: fanny pack with water), which holds a water bottle and (for me) some GU Chomps, which are basically little caffeinated fruit snacks that make a huge difference when running longer distances. These are three things I ALWAYS run with. No matter what.
Of course, today was different. Equipped with everything and ready to run, I got to the tent where we would be leaving our stuff, removed my 'Batman Utility Belt'/Fanny Pack from my bag, stowed my sweats and jacket and made sure to get a decent warm-up and some good stretching in. After about 5 minutes, the announcer comes on to make sure wave #2 runners were on deck and ready to go. I look to the two people I would be starting out with and we head to the staging area, with an ample 2-3 minutes to spare before the gun goes off. Once in the staging area and feeling like herded cattle, it was apparent that there was no turning back now. Feeling a little bit of the nerves that accompany any sort of athletic performance, I reached for my water bottle to rinse the dryness out of my mouth. *SHIT!* I never put the belt on!
Great. Since February of this year I have always run with the accompaniment of these three things. I have trained my body to consume 3 oz of water every 20 minutes and 2-3 GU Chomps every 40 minutes. Like clockwork. My gloves were ready to warm my hands. I was prepared. I was ready. I was also dumb enough to completely forget to put the belt on (which also had the gloves carefully tucked inside), before I got to the staging area that had no outlet. This was sure to be a run to remember. Luckily, my running partners were encouraging and let me know that there would be plenty of stops along the way for me to rehydrate and even grab a GU Gel or two. Despite the initial frustrations, these comments did a lot to help me relax and get my mind back on the race - which wound up as smooth as I could have asked for. Started out with an easy 8:10/mi average pace for the first 10 miles and a more concerted effort to finish the last 3.1 in under 21 minutes. When it was all done, I finished in 1:44. Total mileage that I ran was 13.21 (due to weaving and a non-linear course) and my average pace was 7:56/mile. All told, I burned 1776 calories on the course. A good training run indeed. Plus I got to do this:
For most runners, race day is the day that they let everything out. They have prepped themselves, replayed the race over and over in their heads and attempted to visualize exactly how they are going to feel when they are running as hard as they physically can. For me, this wasn't the case. While most people were tossing and turning trying to get a good night's sleep on Saturday, I was busy passing out my couch with my contacts in. My "carb load" two days before consisted of a full Oakland Coliseum Nachos and a Stadium Dog. Most people I talk to tell me that 13.1 miles is a huge accomplishment, and for most people, I'm sure it is. But I'm not like most people. 13.1 miles on Sunday was a decent run - don't get me wrong - but I felt like without my injury, I would have easily accomplished finishing the marathon and in a time that I would have liked (sub 3:30). I guess the only thing/person I can be mad at is myself. I've never been one to listen to my body and to take the time to rest. I've always pushed through pain and become stronger and more mentally tough as a result. Luckily, this was simply too much of an injury to overcome, and I have been humbled enough to recognize the difference between soreness and true injury.
I will tell you this though. My goal of finishing a marathon is not over. Not in the slightest. Fortunately I have been given the opportunity to learn from this instance and to move forward. More knowledgeable and more prepared than ever.
Friday, July 23, 2010
This not only means the weekend is here and you can drink yourself stupid without fear of being late to work (assuming your a MF 9-5'er like me, or more like 6-3'er, but whatever), this means I'm here to bring you the best of Friday - and the rest of the week.
This first one comes to us all the way from Ha Noi, Vietnam:
Hanoi crazy night traffic from vinceslas on Vimeo.
*I love how Vimeo credits itself, saves me so much time.
Now, people say Asians can't drive. Aaaaaaand, from what I've seen in the City, that's a pretty solid generalization. However, looking at this video you might notice something. There are ZERO accidents. Strange right? Even more ridiculous...? Yeah. There are ZERO traffic signals and street signs. Kind of a free for all and it somehow works. I mean, you've got mopeds swerving, people walking right through the middle of the god damn street and cabbies hopped up on 'whatever-the-hell', but they are all making it. I also appreciate the time stop action video over the sweet beats, which are more and more becoming my favorite mode of watching the days go by.
Next up is an article I found over at Broke-Ass Stuart's Goddamn Website. Go ahead and click on that link and get back to me in a second. I'll wait..........
Now, I found this write-up particularly interesting not only because it was written by a girl, but also because I'll actually be in Vegas next weekend for a bachelor party. I'm mostly interested in seeing if what has been mentioned is really the case, and to naturally judge on the quality of the boobs versus the quality of the girl.
This is a particularly poor example. It's bad enough that those ridiculous orbs sit still all by themselves, but a whole separate issue that her face looks like that of Koko the Gorilla:
Anyway, I pretty much share the same sentiment as the author of the post, especially #5 on the list. If you think you have self-confidence issues now and need fake tits, wait 'til you get the attention you "always wanted" and realize that maybe it wasn't you the guy is actually interested in. Oh, and that roofie in your drink? That was because you were such an amazing intellectual that the 'bro' you were talking to wanted to make love to your stellar wit and your school girl charm....
Totally tangential. Sorry, I'll get back to it now.
Lastly, I want to point out that I'll be running in the San Francisco Marathon Events this coming Sunday. Though I was originally training for the full marathon, my overzealous self ended up pushing through some minor injuries and turning them into much larger ones - sidelining me from running for a good 2 months. I am back though, and will be doing the 1st half of the marathon. What's the point, you ask? Wellllll, if you think you are going to be anywhere near SF this Sunday, make note of the road closures available here, Road Closures for SF Marathon. The event starts at 5:30am (!) and should still be fairly dark when we get started running, if this pic from sfgate.com is any indication:
Should be awesome. I'll make sure to give you guys a full update. 'Til next week, here's a little Friday outro. Enjoy yourselves.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
One of the biggest drawbacks to sitting in front of a computer all day - aside from the horrible posture, stiff neck, lack of scenery/fresh air, etc. - is the fact that Amazon.com is only a few clicks away. Ask anyone who has ever purchased anything from their site and they'll tell you there really is no place more seductively enticing for someone who hates the physical activity of shopping, but likes getting new shit. I mean, if you need anything your best bet is to check Amazon.com first to compare the prices. Seriously, you can buy almost anything off of Amazon.com - and more than 90% of the time it's cheaper than anywhere else that isn't having some huge sale. Granted, your going to have to wait for shipping, but if you absolutely don't need something NOW, you can't beat the savings. Here is a list of things I have purchased in just the last month:
- Quicksilver Men's Carver Suede 2 Sandals: $22
- Passion Pit album, "Manners": $10.99
- Men's Solid Skinny 2" Black Necktie: $2.35 (seriously)
- Bianco Brioni Italian Men's Hand Tailored Suit: $139 (marked down from $1,579!)
- And finally today, I got myself into the 21st Century with a Nikon D3000 Digital SLR camera bundle: $699.95 (marked down from $909.99).
*I know you don't care, but this is MY blog, so deal with it.
I mean...were talking a savings of over 350 buck if I bought it all separately. Super stoked. You should be too. Since this means much higher quality pics for all of you readers. Boom.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Looks like any typical SF neighborhood, right? Huh. Yeah. Not quite. The big intersection down the hill is 3rd Street. Just running this single block I had people staring at me like I was either really, really dumb, or really, really an undercover cop. Once I turned on 3rd, it was like Barbershop, Friday After Next, and Don't be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood all converged just for me. Women outside liquor stores with pajamas and socks on at 5:30 in the afternoon/evening; people blatantly stopped in the middle of the intersection for lengthy "conversations"; there was even an infant pushing a stroller with another baby in it. Not sure where the mom was, but certainly didn't have the huevos to take the time to figure it out.
These are not stereotypes. These are actual things I saw with my own two eyes. 'Luckily', 3rd Street is the main thoroughfare in this part of town and I was able to quickly make my way back to more familiar grounds and get my stupid ass home. On the way I did find something rather familiar (and if you've been following the blog, you'll notice it too).
Yup. Metro PCS is super serious about this $40 plan thing. Not "$40-ish, $40! GOD DAMMIT!" I'm not sure I like their strong arm tactics, but if it was either switch to Metro PCS or hang out in Hunter's Point through the night, I'd have no problem switching and would gladly pay a whole lot more than forty buck.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
But let me tell you this much. Trying to spread her wings beyond being Brian Austin Green's fiance/wife/whatever and "that girl from Transformers" is going to prove awfully difficult for her. Earlier this evening while waiting for the Giants game to come on, I suffered through a good 45 minutes of Jennifer's Body. Yeah, that's actually the name of the movie she's in. And guess what...SURPRISE, she's Jennifer.
Needless to say, this movie has received a 5.3/10 from users on IMDB. These are people that undoubtedly watched this movie for the sole reason that Megan Fox was the (stellar looking) main character. That's a 53%. Failing grade anyway you slice it. Supposedly the genre of the movie falls in the comedy/fantasy/horror category. Horrific is right, but not in the sense the writers/production team were looking for.
I can't say that this movie doesn't have its place though. I bet this flick would go really well as a muted background video at a couple of "edgy" bars in the City - or maybe just the Lexington Club. I'm sure they could appreciate it for every ounce of entertainment I was able to take away from it. That, or I could have just watched TMZ and got essentially the same enjoyment without all the lame blood and guts stuff and horrible dialogue.
Even better is when they catch you taking their pictures.
But even better than that? Little kids who don't give a shit about the environment and just go to the park, string up a seal pup, and beat the hell out of it.
Found over at Mission Mission, via Laughing Squid who reported it was filled with "red candy guts." Awesome much?
Monday, July 19, 2010
Anyway, it's now 20 minutes later and you still haven't quite gotten over the awesomeness that is the combination of the "H-Y-I". During that time, I decided I would Google search "Monday Funday" in images, and this is what popped up.
I particularly enjoy this because I have a problem with Disneyland being known as the "Happiest Place on Earth". Next time you happen to find yourself dragged to Disneyland or claim that you are SO excited to go, take a look around and see how many little kids you see crying because their parents won't buy them that $15 cotton candy or some dumb ass trinket they can't live without in the magic shop. Happiest place on earth my ass.
Note: I'm also keenly aware of the little black stick figures. I mean really? I don't know if this guy was trying to further racial equality or push it back a couple hundred years. Whatever he did, Google seems to think this is good enough to be the #2 hit under Monday Funday. You can decide for yourself.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Anyway, I found this video online that shows how to beat the original Super Mario Bros. in 7 minutes without dying. I really hope there wasn't the use of a Game Genie on this, since I have in fact beaten the game without dying, it just took me a little (read: a lot) longer to do. It's even more awesome because somebody was able to lay the whole game over a cement ledge somewhere so you can watch the entire game unfold as if there are no level changes. Check it out:
Friday, July 16, 2010
This is single-handedly the highlight of my day, and one of the reasons I don't mind starting work at 6:30am. First come, first served. When it's time to do the 'business', there are few greater things you could find in the stall. This is proof that the cleaning crew comes in at night and does their job. The blue waters calming like all those pictures of Tahiti and the Bahamas, calling you in to sit and relax. If there was sand on the floor, I might never have to go to the beach.
No worrying about sitting down and finding the paradoxically warm toilet seat. No "leavins" from the last person. No newspapers strewn about. No dribbles of any "fluids".
No folks, this is MY throne for the next few minutes for me to play on my iPhone and take care of nature's calling. Plus, I'm getting paid the whole time. Yup. I said it.
Now, Hayward isn't exactly known for it's beautiful people. They leave that up to Pleasanton and San Ramon. What they are known for are there slightly "off" cast of characters that roam the downtown area - I'm not talking strictly for the Street Party either. Last night a clearly intoxicated woman pull an imaginary arrow out of here imaginary quiver and shoot her imaginary bow across the street towards the blues band that was playing. Sadly, my iPhone camera takes FAR to long to load, so I missed the shot. Luckily, now that I had the camera out I was on the draw to catch some other characters who were all out in fine fashion.
This guy was more rad than weird. Unfortunately I missed his "partner" who was a couple steps ahead in a similarly awesome outfit.
Then there was this guy.
Is this what drives the ladies crazy? The only thing more awesome would be a sweet, greasy, curly pony tail trailing out of the back of that hat.
No one, and I mean NO ONE, came close to this guy though.
To give the guy a little credit, there was in fact a band playing, he wasn't just dancing to the beat of his own drummer. I mean, he was...but there was actual music while he underwent this spiritual abortion. It was in fact pretty amazing since there were a couple hundred people who were downright stupefied by the fact that this dude was going for it. I mean, I sure was. Personally, I thought bow-and-arrow-girl should have hit this dude up. I can only imagine the magic they could have created. Probably much more than Hayward could have been able to handle.
Anyway, they do these things every 3rd Thursday of the Summer months. If you didn't make it to the last two, it clearly makes sense that you should be at the next one. The people watching is on par with some of the finest in the City.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
The first video is a little documentary that's worth watching through the 8 minute mark.
This next video is just pure enjoyment. If you don't crack a smile, feel free to light yourself on fire and slap it out with a cactus.
Anyway, he briefly stopped blogging and it really bummed me out. He is supposed to be coming back with a new entry sometime in the next couple of days. Keep an eye out for it. If your like me - and you should be - you won't be disappointed. Plus, you won't have to ask me what my shirt means next time you see me.
Don't freak yourself out about the mirror; using MS Paint I inverted the image, so you could read the shirt. Man, technology...
I know, I know, chump change. But for Mr. Steinbrenner...
and his reported $1.1 billion estate, it looks like he was fortunate enough to die in 2010. As of 2009, the estate tax was 45% with a 3.5 million dollar exemption. Thankfully, the incompetents in Congress fought so long about what to do when the bill expired, they completely OMITTED 2010 from the inclusion of ANY estate tax. Being the businessman ol' Steiny was, it looks like he is expected to have saved his family a cool 500 million. Seriously.
Looks like the Yanks just funded a team full of A-Rods. On government (intended) money. How you like them apples?
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
That's right. Jenga! Jenga! Yeah. Only one of the most basic, awesome games you could ever play. My favorite part is that every body thinks they are better than everyone else at Jenga. Kind of like Tetris. Umm, except that I really am one of the best Tetris (NES) players you'll ever step to. No. Seriously.
Plus...that Haagen-Dazs Coffee Ice Cream! Shiiiiiiiiit. Hey, I don't bust my ass working out to not eat like shit sometimes. Besides, that level is pretty much where I left it before it went back in the freezer.
Seriously though, if you get bored, bust out some playing cards or a board game every once in a while. It definitely breaks the monotony. Of course, you can always check the blog when you're bored, too.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Here's an actual map of my run. Yeah, my actual run. If you are a runner, or even a walker or cyclist, check out the website MapMyRun.com. Despite all the ads, you can actually map the courses you've done and actually keep a log of your training and progress. Since I like to take pictures on my runs and bike rides, I'll try and make notes of where I took what pictures so that you can have your own little interactive experience with my journeys.
Yesterday I only took a couple of photos because I was really trying to focus on the run and attack some good hills (Castro-Divisadero. On the way up 17th, I noticed this, which I thought was just a little ironic:
As far as I know, prosper means to continually make progress, NOT to come to an end. Oh well.
The next picture I took was of my 5 mile marker/turnaround point. Note: I run with a Garmin GPS/Watch/Pace/Calorie,etc. reader, so I know how far/fast I'm going/gone, and a bunch of other stuff. Easily one of the best investments I've made as far as running/biking is concerned.
Pretty much the raddest tree in GG Park and it's right past the DeYoung on JFK if you are heading East-to-West.
Double Note: I don't wear headphones when I run. It is already dangerous enough running the City streets, let alone being unable to hear what all is going on around you. Aside from that, the runs take on a much better feel when you listen to your body and your breathing. Plus, you don't miss all the awesome stuff around you:
Following up on my last post, I've realized why I don't drink to excess like that anymore. Or at least, very often.
2009 was a pretty big year for me going out strong, partying hard, and partying often. As a (now) late twenty-something I began making some pretty good money and was definitely taking advantage of it. For the better part of 7 or 8 months I was going out every weekend - days and nights and drinking from about noon-to-blackout. I was also realizing that with cabs, drinks, covers, late night food, I was spending anywhere from $500-$600 a month that revolved around drinking/going out.
Thankfully 2010 has been a much more relaxed, and much more wallet-boosting year. Except for Saturday. Luckily, the damage was only about $60, but paired with dinner and drinks the night before in the East Bay, came out to another $125 weekend ($125 that could have gone to this renters' insurance bill I have sitting on my desk). It also sucked watching the World Cup Final with a massive headache and a woozy stomach. Not even a little 'hair of the dog' was able to knock out yesterday's hangover. I ended up missing an amazing day outside, and instead spent it in and out of sleep on the couch. Hooray.
Thankfully, the only real damage that was caused was to my pride, my head, and some of the not so nice things I may have said to friends in my stupor. Sorry. (My missing flip-flop was located; no, not the one from the river. That one is ghost. I'm still not used to keeping track of things not securely fastened to my body.) Oh yeah, and I think 500 Club may have revoked my visitation privileges. At least for awhile.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
Being that I was already downtown off of California, I whipped around the corner and summarily destroyed a #2 breakfast combo from the Golden Arches. Now that I had my morning off to the right start, I wondered what I would get up to. Hmm, the fog hadn't quite broken by 11:00am, but having carnal knowledge of weather systems in SF during the summer, I knew I had about 40 minutes before the weather cleared up and I was able to enjoy this industry approved "day-off". Having just indulged in a nearly 1000 calorie breakfast, I figured a bike ride was in order. Luckily for you, that means pictures of SF's many oddities.
I started off exploring Bernal Heights since this and the Mission were the only two completely sunny areas of the City by the time I had taken off on my adventure. Cortland has a nice little hill on the Southwest side that gets the heart rate going if you let it. However, it was this awesome at the bottom of the hill at Bayshore where I knew I was in for an awesome ride today:
"Will dew! I'll be sure not to due anything dumb...like, say, cross that street drinking a Mountain Do and not pay attention to what all the cars are dueing!" Really? I mean, come on. Jesus...Glad to know these City workers are getting tax payer funded pensions but can't figure out elementary school level grammar
Moving on, I took my trusty two-wheeler into Potrero Hill to see what kind of gems I could find. Fittingly, I stumbled upon this:
I mean, duh...
Turned out there was something else awesome at this intersection, unfortunately, it was gravely mistaken:
40MPGs is not the "new fiesta". To twenty-somethings, the "new fiesta" is a 30 pack or two of cheap beer (preferably Keystone Light) and a couple of limes. THAT is the "new fiesta".
Or how about this. I could fiesta to this, for sure:
Based off a tip I got from the guys over at Broke-Ass Stuart, I had to check this place out. Sure enough, ONE DOLLAR PINTS OF NEGRA MODELO! ON DRAFT! Yes. PLEASE. Of course, my dumb/broke-ass didn't have cash, and being a Mexican Restaurant in Hayes Valley, they OF COURSE don't take anything BUT cash. Grrrr...
By now I was hungry, and thirsty as all hell. My back was completely sweat-soaked and I needed sustenance. As a result I headed to the place I know doesn't care what you are wearing or how you smell. Rhea's Deli at 19th and Valencia. It's actually a liquor store, but has the BEST sandwich in the City in the signature Korean Steak.
The best part? Like I said the place is a liquor store, too! Having ridden nearly 15 miles on my bike by this point, I grabbed a delicious 24 of Red Stripe to wash this sweet & spicy sandwich down. The place even has a little bar-esque table to sit and eat at, and if the owner doesn't "know about it" *wink*, (direct quote and action, from the owner himself) you can drink your beer. Which is exactly what I did. The meal itself came in at just about $12, but I didn't even start on the second half (the monster on the left side of the picture). Best believe that is gonna make for some great drunk schmackums.
chart from here.
You see that huge white spike about 3/4 of the way across the screen? Yeah. That's the two hour time frame when the price jump took place based on speculation that Lebron might be heading to hang with Jay-Z and Alicia Keys in "NEW YORK" (anybody?). You'll also notice the next day when the stock price of MSG quickly returned to it's Pre-Lebron Hype levels. That's because he wasn't. Interesting, no? Okaay, fine.
But what about this? I mean, come on. Read that headline at least twice (I'm sure a few of you will need at least three or four goes at it) and tell me it's not funny. You actually have to click on the link to get the joke. Seriously, I'm not making it that easy for you.
originally located at gq.com.
Finally, something that will at least make you smile if not laugh out loud. See how I spelled that out? Yeah, WAY better than text talk, right? Just make sure you watch the whole thing.
This guy was in Yosemite and obviously indulged himself in something way beyond my scope of comprehension - something that, next time I see a rainbow, I hope to have near to me for quick consumption. I mean, seriously. If you are still watching and haven't cracked up to yourself...do me favor and close the browser window now, never to return to this blog.
I woke up late to go to work and had to rush to the shower. Three of my housemates were waiting in line to use the bathroom, so you could say I was in a rush. Not only that, but I was completely nervous about being late to work so I was rushing to get the situation under control. I hopped in the shower and while doing it stubbed my toe. *Shit*.
Then, instead of putting face wash on my face, I involuntarily grabbed the bottle next to it and squirted it on. It turned out to be mouthwash. Great...An accident for sure, but I sure hope my face doesn't peel off because of it. If I get a rash or whatever, it'll be what I deserve, but I probably shouldn't pay for it for the rest of my life.
Anyway, after that I rush to put on clothes and in my haste, I involuntarily pull my zipper up a little too quickly and pinch myself "you-know-where". *Shit*. Another accident, but I sure hope I don't lose all functioning in my weiner because of it. If it hurts for awhile, maybe I'll learn to be a little more careful.
Dressed and out the door, I hop in my car and since the pressure is on to get to work on time, I manage to involuntarily put the car in drive instead of reverse. *Shit*. I punch the gas and ram right into the car in front of me. Again, what a series of unfortunate events. I hope my license isn't revoked for it. Although, if I am liable for the damage to the car, it is certainly something that I'll have to pay for.
I get to work and immediately have 20+ things on my desk. In my haste to place an order for a client, I involuntarily sell 2000 shares of a mutual fund instead of 2000 dollars. There is about a $15000 difference in the two orders. *Shit*. Now I have to run around and try and get the order fixed since the market is continually moving and any difference in price has to be recouped by the firm. I hope I don't lose my job because of it, but if I get reprimanded and written-up it is clearly something I deserve for making a mistake.
The workday finishes up and I head home. Out of nowhere, traffic comes to a screeching halt on the freeway and I involuntarily slam on the gas instead of the brake! I mean, they are right next to each other. Of course, I slam right into the car in front of me. Luckily everyone was okay. I show my insurance and we exchange information. I sure hope I'm able to drive again after the DMV finds out about it. It would really suck if the rest of my life I was relegated to walk everywhere because of a mistake I made. Granted, I'm sure my insurance will go up a result. Something that I will rightfully have to pay more for if I wish to keep driving.
*Note: None of the aforementioned events actually transpired.
Any of these things sound familiar or remotely possible? Interesting. Sounds like the logic behind these things is similar to a recent news story (in case you were under a rock, the Johannes Mehserle trial verdict: Involuntary Manslaughter).
Look, I don't know what happened that night. Neither do you. The jury heard the "evidence" in the case and made a decision based on what they saw and heard. Unfortunately a life was lost in the process, and the officer in the case is now paying for that. Not only in jail time, but the life he leads will never fully recover from the things that he has done - accident or not. Believe it or not, this trial was groundbreaking. This is the first time in recent memory that a police officer has EVER been convicted of anything relating to the use of a gun while in the line of duty.
I know some of you wanted more and some of you wanted less. The thing that is important here is the fact that because of this groundbreaking verdict, police are now being held (more) liable for their actions while in the line of duty. They are undergoing more stringent training and testing. However, if the verdict still leaves you upset, I encourage you to take action in your community. Join a citizen task force that works in conjunction with police. Educate your family and friends on how they can avoid confrontations with the police, that may end in a bad situation. There are always two sides to every story. Hopefully in the future, we can work towards the blurring of those lines into becoming one.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
This was around the corner from my house in SF. I wish I was hip to this at the time, but alas, I'll settle for catching it a few days late. The finale is on par with most firework shows people wait hours to see.
Originally stumbled upon over at Uptown Almanac.
Now I know what you're thinking. Haven't they said this EVERY year for the last half-decade? Yeah, they pretty much have. Supposedly though, the antics at this past year's race were just a "Wee" bit much for residents along the route - specifically in the Panhandle. Hmm, I wonder why...Here is a breakdown from a 2008 blog that no longer exists, courtesy of sfist.com:
"Both the starting and finishing stretches of the Bay to Breakers race course are badly barren of liquor stores, with a healthy abundant patch in the middle. The course's first liquor store open on a Sunday morning doesn't materialize until past the 1.5 mile marker, Go Go Market at the Ninth Street turn. Shocking, huh? They've been open since 6. From there on it's solid coverage through Hayes Valley, up Hayes Hill, and Western Addition. Special attention should be paid to jumping off course in the middle of the Panhandle to visit Lucky Supermarket at Fulton & Masonic. You'll get supermarket discounts on beer and hard liquor, and this is your last chance to get liquor until painfully-way-more-off-course options up at 11th and 19th Avenues far along into Golden Gate Park."It has always been funny to me how people who live along the route and in the NOPA/Alamo Square Area love to drink on the streets and walk with open containers during the middle of the day, everyday, but complain when ONE day out of the year shit gets a little (ok, a LOT) crazy. Try shutting down the centennial B2B, and not only will the citizens be outraged, but the City will undoubtedly end up spending egregious amounts of money on police personnel overtime that, say, could go to putting a couple hundred more porta-potties on the course route and hopefully alleviating people from pissing on the streets - or your car.
Photo courtesy sfist.com
Even still, the police don't want to sit there and write out a thousand tickets, most of which will be appealed, and half thrown out for whatever reason. The cleanup costs will probably be half as much as the payment for overtime costs. I mean, this is what we pay for anyway:
photo courtesy sfcitizen.com
Something tells me she isn't getting hauled off to jail either...
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
This is sad and angering but it's something that happens everyday. It doesn't have to. There is never a reason to put yourself and/or other people in danger because you had too much to drink. Though he didn't die, his life is ruined. He will forever have to live with the fact that his actions took the life of someone else, and the families of the person who died will forever be changed.
Please make intelligent decisions out there. Call a cab, call a friend, walk...there are a million other options out there. Use them. I am fortunate to live in San Francisco where I can walk, cab, or BART it anywhere I need to be. Not all of us have these same luxuries so I appeal to you to please be smart when making weekend/evening plans. While we may never know who else is out there, we can all make an effort to keep ourselves and our friends off the roads when we/they have had too much.
While driving to work Friday morning with visions of bbq food and plenty of booze in my head, everything appeared to be smooth sailing. Driving home from work on Friday was an entirely different experience to say the least. Backing out of my parking space at work I noticed that I was having to give a considerable amount of pressure to get the car to even slow, let alone stop. "Great", I say to myself, "I've got 30 miles on the freeway to get home". Luckily for me, I live right around the corner from House of Brakes (seriously). Unluckily for me, they were closed Friday-Monday to celebrate like any reasonable person would be. Being that my plan now had a decent sized wrench in it, I was relegated to Yelp! in hopes of finding a place close by that might be able to take a look at my car and see what the hell was going on. Turned out there was a place closer to Downtown at 6th and Folsom. What I found was golden. Literally:
Turns out I had a cracked/broken 'vacuum hose' that was necessary for my 'brake booster' to work. Or as I was told by the old Asian mechanic with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth that was half ash, "you real lucky". Lucky because, had that hose completely fallen off, the odds of me being able to come to a stop on the freeway were slim to none.
Aside from the fact that these guys were open until 5pm on a FRIDAY...before a 3 day weekend...they were extremely prompt and professional. Within a minute of pulling in, they had the hood up and within 5 minutes had diagnosed the issue. Within ten minutes the tube had been replaced, and they even gave it a complete once over to make sure there was nothing else that could cause any issues.
Seriously, these guys were on top of their game and were eager to help a brotha out.
The craziest thing happened at the end though. From the onset of the brake trouble, I was fully expecting to shell out a couple hundred bucks minimum. One I realized it was just a tube that needed replacing, I figured I'd still be in the hole about $65-75. When I asked what I owed, the guy at the desk told me "don't worry about it." That's right. NO CHARGE. Name one mechanic that you have never met that just flat out did you a favor...just plain good ol' karma. Kinda sad knowing that my life was literally worth "zero dollars", but in the best way possible, I suppose.
Needless to say, I was super stoked that my weekend would not be ruined by the overarching thoughts of brake trouble/failure/maintenance. As a token of my sincere appreciation for the timeliness and quality of their work, I gave each of the guys who were working on the car a 10 spot and told 'em to have a drink on me for the 4th.
If you ever find yourself needing any brake work done and are in or around the City, I HIGHLY recommend checking these guys out. They are also a 5 star rated business on Yelp! by the way: http://www.yelp.com/biz/golden-auto-muffler-and-brake-center-san-francisco
Friday, July 2, 2010
This first one has been floating around the Internet for a couple days, but it speaks such volumes about the culture of selling out, I had to repost courtesy of commenter "plumpy" over at one of my favorite time waster blogs, missionmission.wordpress.com.
I mean,we all know that NWA stood for "Niggas With Attitude." At least it used to. I think it now means Ice Cube is "Never Welcome Again" in Oakland. We all should have guessed something was up when he was born O'Shea Jackson, and graduated from a high-school in suburban Woodland Hills, CA. So don't say he sold out. Let's just say he went back to his 'roots'.
Sticking with the theme of giving props to my neighborhood, this picture comes from one of the best photographer groups' in SF website, www.calibersf.com
These guys take awesome pictures all over The City, often profiling some of SFs most unique/visible characters. They even use real cameras, too. Like, nice ones! So take some time and check 'em out.
Have a good weekend all!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Seriously, don't even try and come with something else. Just ain't gonna happen. I have a buddy that murdered 10 Sausage McMuffins w/ Egg in a row. These things are simply delicious.
This morning when I was watching the chick behind the counter make it, I noticed she sprayed a sauce on it that I had never seen before - it was the color of hollandaise...almost. It goes on the half of McMuffin that has the cheese on it. I've never noticed it before, because the delectable little slice of "cheese" goes on top and quickly melts to the McMuffin, sealing in a little burst of heaven of what is surely a trade secret of that gingey Ronald McDonald himself. If anyone can clue me in on what it actually is...don't. Odds are I don't want to - and don't really need to - know.